As some of you may know, back in September, my husband and I lost our second baby in my womb due to miscarriage. Since I shared about our experience publicly, I have been astounded by the number of you who have walked the same road. I had no idea before just how common this journey was. And I had no idea how painful it could be.
A week after our precious baby died, I was driving through Kansas preparing to lead worship all weekend at a women’s conference. I was an emotional mess, crying randomly throughout the day, feeling weak and exhausted and depressed. Because my hormones were plummeting so rapidly due to the sudden loss of pregnancy, I was basically a complete basket case. The last thing in the world I felt like doing was standing on a stage in front of 600 women leading them in worship. I felt lost, hurt and confused by how God could be moving in all this. But that weekend, as I drove down the straight, flat interstate of Kansas in my rental car in total silence, this song “Heaven Someday” was born.
This song has brought me so much healing and comfort. It feels like I finally have something tangible to honor and celebrate the tiny little life that was growing inside me for almost two months. At first, I thought this song was only meant for me, to help me process and grieve our loss. But as time passed, I couldn’t deny the overwhelming nudge from God to record this song, so that I could share it with all of you. I hope this song brings you the same healing and comfort it has brought me.
In moments like these, when there is no explanation and no way to rationalize what has happened, the only way I can respond is to wake up every morning, open up my hands, and say, “God, whatever happens today, You still have all of my heart.”
So in loving memory of all the sons and daughters who are waiting for us that we’ll get to meet in Heaven someday, I share this song with you as a gift from the depths of my heart to yours.
To the One who gives and the One who takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
Download/Stream “Heaven Someday” here.